Margalit Grunberger: Oops.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Hello, Hello, everybody so happy to be here and give us. It's not quite noon yet, so I'm gonna give us a minute
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so good to see everyone.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If you don't
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): have a glass of water, grab a glass of water, we're gonna settle in for a bit. hey, Amelia.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia is saying, the shadows are shadowing in the chat. Yes, they are
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Aesthetia.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Alright! Let's get started, and I know that people will come in as they are meant to. And let's actually get started by getting grounded
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and bringing ourselves fully present to the moment to this time that we have together. If it feels comfortable and right for you to close your eyes. I invite you to close your eyes for a few moments. I'm gonna close mine.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If it feels more comfortable to keep your eyes open.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and that is what's right, for you. Keep them open and use these moments to go inward.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe feeling
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): your seat beneath you. If you're sitting ground beneath your feet.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you're standing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and noticing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the earth beneath that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and allowing yourself to settle in
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and be supported.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then, if it feels right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): taking some moments to follow your breath.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): notice
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the inhale
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and the exhale.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): notice the expansion on the inhale. and then the hugging inward
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on the exhale.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): using this as an opportunity to connect in with your body.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to really bring yourself fully here.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to call all the parts of you home
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so that you have them? No.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and as you continue to connect with your breath and your body. I invite you to place a hand on your heart. and connect with your heart.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and honor your heart for all that it has experienced
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in your life.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Honor your love and your grief.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and take a moment and honor yourself for making the time and space to be here to day for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and taking a nice deep breath in and out.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If your eyes aren't already open. allowing them to open.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Taking a moment to see some of the other incredible humans that are here with us today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): take a moment to see and to be seen
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): well, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome! I am so excited
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to be with you today for this special workshop called your hidden business shadow, and I am just can't wait to share with you everything that I've prepared for today. It is great to see so many faces that I already know and love so well. I'm so so glad that you're here. And
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): yeah, especially just that. You continue to trust me and come into these spaces with me to learn.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I also see faces that I don't know yet, and I cannot wait to get to know you if we don't already know each other. I'm so glad you're all here.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If you don't already know me, I'm Joanna Lindenbaum. I'm the founder of the Applied Depth Institute, and my trainings are known as one of the go-to places
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for coaches, therapists, practitioners, or practitioners to be who are kind of smarty pants, very smart.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): who are highly ethical, and who are deeply passionate and my trainings are known as the go-to place for those folks who are really committed to becoming more masterful in your transformational skills, learning how to go very deep in your client work through trauma informed and somatic techniques.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm also known as one of the go-to trainers for practitioners who know that they're ready to learn how to work with shadow or go deeper into working with shadow
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for themselves and for their clients.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And most of you probably know this. But in case you don't, I've dedicated much of my career to leveling up the quality of the coaching and the transformational industries that I love so so much, and to providing practitioners with the skills and the techniques that are really required for you to do the absolute, best, most powerful and empowering work that you can do with your client.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But all that being said. learning skills and techniques is really only half of what makes a practitioner effective
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and masterfall
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the other half is about the practitioner's inner work.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): which we do a lot of in my trainings for those of you that know.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The other half is about the inner work that we do as practitioners, right about the practitioner working with our own fears, our own resistances, our own limiting beliefs, our own shadows.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because, as those of you who know me well, you know, I often say energy follows energy
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? So our energy and energetics as practitioners, our beliefs, our ability to be regulated in the face of our own fears, our ability to claim our own shadows follows energy. That's what allows our clients to be able to go deeper.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to hold their own fears, to be with their own shadows, to be more vulnerable in our containers.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and of course.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): our energetics, as practitioners also dictate our ability to show up, not only as practitioners and leaders, but as entrepreneurs.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Our energetics point to our capacity to do marketing and outreach.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to make ourselves and our offerings visible. to charge what is going to be aligned, rates for us and for our clients to set boundaries in our work, etc.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And that is why we're here today. We're gonna dedicate these next 2 and a half hours together to uncovering, identifying, and working with some of the shadows that are standing in our way of showing up in the ways that we want in our business.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in our work
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and also in our personal lives. All of this is applicable to our personal lives as well.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I wanna start us off by sharing a personal story. One, because I think it's gonna be a great way for us to start to move into the shadow work and also number 2, because
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): part of working with shadow is bringing it out of the shadows and normalizing it so hopefully, my story will help normalize a couple of things
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for some of you. So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a few years ago I came across a business coach.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Some of my clients had told me
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): about this person whose marketing I thought when I checked this person out was really good.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It wasn't slimy at all.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and it was high quality to me in the sense that this marketing was providing a lot of value as well, and for those of you that know me, you know I'm a snob about this right? So I thought it was really good.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And at first I was so happy to read this person's emails whenever they came into my inbox. They were informative, and they also spoke about so many of the things that I had been sharing over the last decades about ethics and ethical marketing. It was all just a bomb to my heart.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Because more people talking about ethics and marketing is a good thing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): However.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): as I continued to follow this coach.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and I noticed how big their following was, it was so much bigger than mine, even though they'd only been at it for 3 or 4 years. I'd been at it for 20 plus years.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And it just seemed like their business was massive. I started to feel some pangs of jealousy.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): especially because this business coach.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): also in their marketing, started talking about practitioner training right my turf right as if it was my turf.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And so
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I started to feel some pangs of jealousy, some pangs of
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, my God! Why do they have this Mega business? And I don't right. And of course, cognitively, no, we're all wonderful. There's no true hierarchy. One person isn't better than another. One business isn't better than another. We all need to be spreading similar messages to create change in the world cognitively. I know there's space for all of us
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to be successful. Right? And so that's why, when those pangs of jealousy first started, I kind of went. La, la, I'm not. It's not happening for me. I'm not jealous. Right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm I'm okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And looking back now, it really just shows how powerful shadow can be, because at that point I've been teaching and training on shadow for well over a decade, and I knew exactly that. The exact thing not to do is to ignore a sign like jealousy. Right? I had definitely worked on my issues around jealousy in the past.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And yet, even with all of that, I still wanted to pretend
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like it wasn't there.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and because I tried to bypass my jealousy and what was underneath it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): here's what happened next.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Those small pangs of jealousy started turning into loud alarm. Bell sirens
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that I'm not good enough became alive inside of me in full force.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The I suck became alive inside of me in full force.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Having these huge fears that my business was gonna start falling apart.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, my business was more than fine and thriving. I became obsessed with this practitioner. I got
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): triggered every time they sent an email out.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It was almost as if I felt like this person who didn't know who I was. This other practitioner was oppressing me by their marketing and by their presence.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and I felt like the more successful this person was then, the more my business was going down the drain.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Now, of course, many parts of me knew that this wasn't true. Right? I got it, but the jealous parts of me were convinced
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that I was powerless.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): My business was powerless.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'll just tell you I was pretty miserable.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It wasn't fun to be around at the dinner table. You can ask my husband to vouch for that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And because of all of this
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I noticed that I started holding myself up from marketing, or from doing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): my best marketing right from being fully present.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so if you can resonate a little bit so far with what I'm talking about, just let me know in the chat Amelia is resonating. But just just let me know. Yeah, I'm seeing some yeses and absolute free diary. Yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay. okay, good. So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): thank goodness
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for all of my work over the years with shadow, because I only let this thing that was going on go on for just a couple of weeks
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): until I was able to stop myself and become very aware, and until I saw what was actually going on for me, until I saw that I was letting this other person's marketing and their existence
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): love so much power over me.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and I could see then so clearly, that the reason that I was giving so much of my power over to this other person and to their business and to to their marketing was because I was actually ready to step into my next level
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): of sacred power.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But the problem is that I had some of that power in shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I was denied. I had been denying for about 6 months prior before I even became aware of this other practitioner that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I wanted my business to grow to the next level
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): anytime that feeling came up. I internally reacted with things like you're already big enough. It's egotistical to want more.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): To have an even bigger business would mean that there's a balance, an imbalance of power with others. What's wrong with you, Joanne? Are you some kind of power, hungry maniac, that you want more?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So? In other words.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I was getting triggered by this other practitioner's power.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because it was time for me to more deeply engage with my own power that I had been avoiding, and had even been making wrong
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): does that kind of make sense?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I did that. I did the work.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And once
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I really worked with that shadow of power. And, by the way again, because I had worked with it many times over my life. It's not a once and done but once I started working with that shadow
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): not just its expression of jealousy, but in cleaning my next level of power and being okay with it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This is what happened. I stopped being triggered
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): by this other coach
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and her amazing marketing. And, in fact.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I started looking forward to getting her emails because I could learn from them. She was such a great marketer, and I, instead of being jealous, I was in healthy competition.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I was using
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): her business as a way for me to do even better in my own. In a positive way
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I was more at peace. My marketing got much better because I was claiming more of my power and my business
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right. So this is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): just one example of how shadow can show up. Invite you in the tush in your business.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There are many, many other ways as well. for example.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe for you, you're not marketing at all, or getting to important work in your business because you're procrastinating. maybe for you. You're letting your client sessions go on and on way past the end time, and then you feel resentful that your clients are taking your time or keeping you in session.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or maybe you just get mad at yourself for stealing your own time. Right? Maybe for you. You get stuck doom scrolling on social media, seeing all the other people who are more successful or sharing the ideas that you wanted to share. But they got their first. And now you just can't share them anymore. So you don't do anything at all.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe for you. It's actually about overworking, right? And you're overworking and overworking in order to be okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But maybe you're just running in circles, and it's not getting you anywhere, right and on and on.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The thing about shadow that makes it so tricky.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so evasive
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is that it's almost hidden.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It almost always shows up at one as one thing. But really it's something else, right, like the jealousy.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And my story was really about power
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): when you can find the shadow hiding underneath the symptoms, and then when you can work with it, that's when so much more is possible for your business for your client, work for yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and that's what we're the work that we're going to start to do today. And for those of you that have
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): been in my sacred depth, training and other of my trainings. You know we look at fear a lot. We have a befriend, your fear technique. What we're looking at today is a little different than looking at core fears like not good enough or scared of visibility. Those are important, too, and the befriend your fear. Techniques are very important tools as well. But we're shadow is a little. It's it's
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): adjacent, but a little different.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Alright. Let me pause here, cause I? That was a lot so far, and I'd love to hear. We'll have time later for voice to voice shares. But just now I'd love to hear in the chat
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what's resonating for you so far? And it it looks like a lot of people have been posting in the chat. So a lot of people resonating with the story.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What else? What's feeling important so far, Dana saying, I literally just had this conversation with a peer. We both experienced the same thing with a long time mentor, and how we allowed that to suppress our voice and marketing. So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia's tush is all chewed up.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): yeah, the procrastinating piece. Let me talk about that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): giving away power. Yeah. Good.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, not showing up. Yup, staying invisible. Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): To get to the bottom of the problems. Yeah. yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay. So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm gonna tell you briefly what we're gonna do today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we're I'm going to share a very, very brief intro to shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's not comprehensive at all, because that takes a while to get into all of the the the pieces and the nuances. But we're gonna cover enough on what shadow is today for the time that we have, so that you can do the work that we're gonna do, and for you to have a little bit more of an understanding of what shadow actually is versus how it's spoken about. Mostly in the transformational industry.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We're gonna look at 3 common shadows that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): are often at play when we are blocked in our businesses, so that you can identify for yourself which one is at play for you the most right now, probably for a bunch of you. All 3 will be at play or 2. So we'll we'll kind of look at that and
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There are many, many, many different shadows, not just 3. But I'm really confident that with the 3 I'm going to share, it'll hit everybody here.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then I'm gonna lead you through a process that is gonna support you to work with the shadow to help you bring it more and more out from the hidden place
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so that you can see it and transmute it. And the the process that I'm going to share with you. You're going to be able to repeat this for yourself over and over again.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's what we're not gonna do today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Number one. We're not gonna transform fully in a day because we can't. It's not possible. I wish I wish we could. But that's not how it works you're gonna receive. I hope so many breakthroughs today. We're gonna take your next steps towards changing habits and blocks.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But the real process of transformation is about coming back to the work and coming back and coming back, and I'll share with you how you can do that with the process that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we learn today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We're not gonna learn all there is to know about shadow today. That takes time.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We're not gonna do the deepest of deep shadow work
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Or get trained on how to use any of this with your own client work. and all of that is because shadow is tricky. It's so deep
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and working with it is so powerful that it would be irresponsible for me to either take you to the depths of the depths in a short period of time, with so many people here, or to to train you in it in such a short period of time.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So in 2 and a half hours we can't do that and stay, trauma informed, and and all the things. But that being said, even with the shadow light that we're going to be doing today, the light work on it. It's gonna be really powerful. You're gonna get what you need to take the next steps in working with your shadows.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The other thing to know is that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there's gonna be a bit to process working with shadow can be a little mindbending at first, because it wants to hide. It doesn't want you to see it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So you may even have confusion
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): even longer. 3 day shadow trainings that I lead. I always tell my participants on the morning of the first day you're gonna be confused by the time we leave today, it's not gonna be all tied up, and confusion is part of the process.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So even if you don't process everything by 2 30 Eastern today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I promise you it's gonna continue to work on you. You're gonna get it in like as you need it. The work allow it to be mysterious.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The this process allow it to be imperfect. Allow it to maybe be confusing at times.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): at some point
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): before we wrap. I'll also make sure I share a little bit about advanced steps, which is where we do the deepest inner work and comprehensive training on shadow in a smaller container, because I know that some of you will want to know more about that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, last few things before we more deeply jump in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Shadow can sometimes be a little triggering again. That's because it doesn't want to be seen.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And what I want to propose to you is that it's okay to be a little bit triggered.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Discomfort leads to growth.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So stay present.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): stay grounded. Watch for shadow resistance.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It might look like you getting really annoyed at me as an example needing to run to the bathroom 5 times, or whatever it is, bring yourself back.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Only go as far in the exercises as feels right for you again. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable. But if you get too uncomfortable, just pull back a little.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): participate
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and also have fun because shadow is deep. But it can also be fun. We're gonna laugh a lot.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So with all that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I want to invite you to set an inner intention
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for this time today. How do you want to be showing up today?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Is it with presence? Is it with a sense of humor? Is it with courage. with openness, with self-compassion? What is one usually picking one intention is most powerful.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): How do you want to show up today
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): with humor, love, intuacy, love, that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): lightness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): tenderness, yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): openness, beautiful
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): courage.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): curious awareness, brave these are all beautiful, yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): receptive, open eyes beautiful. So.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): whatever your inner intention is, I want to invite you to take a moment right now, and really set it for yourself, really
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): make it real for you, maybe bring it into your body, and already feel that energy
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): inside of you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and by these acts and by these intentions we name this space over these few hours, safe and spate safe, safe. And we named this space.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): save
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): may it be a safe space
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for us to go. D.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): May it be a sacred space for us to really love all the parts of ourselves.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Brief introduction to shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So Carl Young
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): first is the first person to name Shadow as shadow, though many indigenous cultures have worked with it in other ways for millennia.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The way that young described. It is the following, or defined, it is the following.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the shadow are the parts of yourself
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or your personality that you don't consciously identify with
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the parts of yourself or your personality that you don't consciously identify with. So it's the parts of yourself that you've either rejected
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or you haven't recognized the part of yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a part of you believes that that part of you is unacceptable or shameful, or not allowed, or harmful
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right. So either you were told that this thing is bad
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): someone else had this quality.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and they misused it. And you saw that it was harmful. And so you decided
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): it was bad.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? So, for example, anger often can get put into shadow like I said, earlier power can often get put into shadow grief.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sexuality can get put into shadow. There's so so many things right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So it's the parts of yourself that you've rejected that you don't consciously identify with.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And some part of you decided that these parts were so awful
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that you decided that you were never going to be this thing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's like you made a sacred contract with yourself at some point that you were never going to be that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so, for example.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): let's say you grew up with a parent who was constantly overworking, and because of that you felt neglected or unseen as a kid.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe you decided that being ambitious is bad.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? And so you stuff your ambition down deep inside of you, so that you can be present for your own family when you're older. But the problem is that your ambition is still there. It still exists somewhere inside of you, and maybe you end up feeling unfulfilled in your career.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Or here's another example.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe in the household that you grew up in being selfish was maybe considered a sin
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like it was in my household the worst one of the worst things you could be. and it was understood that if there was any part of you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): any part of you that was going to be selfish.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that you were bad, that you were not a good family member. Right? So you decided
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that you were not going to be selfish in any way. You made that sacred contract
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): problem, though, is that selfishness? I can promise you still exist somewhere inside of you, because it's a natural, normal thing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But if you've decided it's not a part of you, maybe you end up overgiving all the time, and then you feel exhausted, or depleted
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or resentful.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Are you with me on this? Is this making sense?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Give you one more example.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe you see people in your industry misusing power, taking advantage, manipulating in their marketing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and maybe because of that, you decided on a certain level. That power is bad, and you were never gonna do that to other people. But then what happens next?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Because you decided that power is bad. Maybe you don't market, or maybe you just like kind of market, but not really.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You've completely separated yourself from anything that would have you be more empowered
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in your business.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So, in other words.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): your shadow contains natural, normal, vital parts of you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that you decided you were never gonna be.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But the thing is, we need all the parts of ourselves. Right? Not just the acceptable parts, not just the pretty parts. We need, the selfishness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we need, the competitiveness, we need, the ambition, we need the empowerment.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What April is asking in the chat? Can Wild be another shadow example? Absolutely. There's so many, right? So many.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): keep on going. And then we'll pause. So because we decide that these parts of ourselves are just not a part of us, or we try to stuff them away right? We pretend that they're not there, even though we need them.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): They still want expression.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and because they want expression. But we're pretending like they're not there. they end up causing trouble.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This is where they come to bite us on the touch.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I'm gonna share some of the different ways that the disenfranchised shadow
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): can cause us trouble the ways that we can. We can notice
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): number one. I'm sure many of you have heard this before.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We see it in others. Whatever this trait or this quality is, and it triggers us.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We can't stand it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): young called this projection right? So, for example, I can't believe her. She's so power hungry? Well.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): probably you're triggered because there's a part of you that craves more power.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, that person is so talkative! I can't stand it right, not just once, but if always you're getting triggered by people that are talking too much. I'd be willing to bet there's probably a part of you that wants to take up more space. You're not letting yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, she's so slutty right, and you're so upset about it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe there's a part of your sexuality that you're not taking a look at right? I hate lazy people. I can't stand right. Same thing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I often say.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): take a look at what you see in others that really triggers you and you'll know what parts of yourself you're suppressing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You'll know what parts of you really want more attention and love.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia's saying it could be projection, but also righteous anger at misogyny. We're gonna talk about that briefly in a moment. Absolutely. Because Jung was, you know, we have to remember someone of privilege, of a rich white, you know, cisgendered male, right? We. So there are injustices in the world. There are times when people really are manipulating power, and it is right to be upset at. That's not what I'm talking about here.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, so we recognize it in others. You spot it. You got it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): another way. The shadow can come and bite us in the butt
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is we're paranoid like really paranoid that other people think this about us right. We have shame.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, my gosh! I'm so scared! They think I'm judgmental.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): probably because
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there is a part of you that's judgmental that wants more expression, but you've been suppressing it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, my goodness, I'm scared! Everybody thinks I'm lazy.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): probably because there is a part of you that needs to be more lazy
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that make sense. So we're paranoid, right? We have shame.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's another way. Shadow can show up.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Invite us in the butt
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because we are working so hard to not be that thing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It backfires into self sabotage on us. Right? So. But, for example, let's say, we're so working so so so hard to not be power hungry.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We may end up self-sabotaging like in my story, right? And and give our power away.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If we are running away so hard from being selfish.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we may end up acting selfless all the time, and then suffer from it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's a fun example.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe you've put your love of junk food into shadow. You've decided that junk food is terrible. It is wrong. You cannot have any desire for anything that's not healthy.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe that turns into self-sabotage because you never let yourself have any pleasure with food. Okay. you don't enjoy it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So we run away from it. Try so hard not to be it, and then it backfires.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Give you a couple of other ways. We can spot the shadow
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sometimes by accident.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we turn it on ourselves or others.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's like we're trying to avoid it. But we step right into it. So back to that junk food example.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe you've denying yourself so long you've been denying yourself treats, and then all of a sudden, you eat a whole bag of chips right? A huge one. You step right in to what
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you were avoiding.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe if you were putting selfishness into shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): are giving and giving. You're like a doormat all the time to everybody. And then all of a sudden, you like come, really. So you can't take it anymore. And you end up doing something really rash. That isn't fair to others.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I recently did this
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): with my teenage daughter. This is kind of funny, but she kept on stealing my socks because she wanted to do her own.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Let it take I it was upsetting me, but I was like, no, she needs clean socks. She needs clean socks, and then I never had clean socks
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): until one day I couldn't take it anymore, and I hid all of my socks, and I took all of her realize what I was doing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay. one other way we can spot Shadow that I want to mention for today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Young said. what you resist not only persists. but will grow inside.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So what this means is that when we're trying so hard to pretend that we're not something that very thing can sometimes come at us from the outside.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So, for example.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): if we suppress our desire to have power.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe we experience other people trying to manipulate us or have power over us. or at least we perceive it that way right like in my story with that coach who I thought was a pressing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Or maybe, if we suppress our need to rest, we've put that into shadow. It's bad to want to rest, to be lazy, right? Whatever it is. Maybe we end up attracting into our lives people that are lazy, and their laziness sabotages us in one way or another. Now, again, as I said earlier, we wanna be careful with this because
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Young, who first spoke about this had so many privileges, didn't get aware that you know Howard gets abused right? It's not always our shadow that's attracting those things to us. Sometimes it is in injustice
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in the world.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): probably the most important thing about Shadow that I want you to know, for now
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there is so much power and empowerment and creative energy
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and life force, energy that is tied up in your shadows.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and when you can reach back out and reclaim the shadow and work with it lovingly.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You get more of you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You get more of your creative energy and life force, energy and more of your truest self.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And that's what can allow you to change behaviors and patterns that don't serve you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's the missing piece around so much of stuck patterning and self-sabotage
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): patterning.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and it's a missing piece also, because
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so many of our superpowers are embedded inside of our shadows.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and when we disenfranchise ourselves from the shadow we miss out on the superpower.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So, for example, maybe the superpower embedded inside of laziness is knowing how to create spaciousness for yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe the super power embedded inside of selfishness
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is having very healthy and aligned boundaries that serve you and serve others
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right. So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): our super again, our superpowers, Suez is asking. Our superpowers
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): are embedded inside the shadows. If we disenfranchise it, disenfranchised the shadow. We don't have as much access to the superpowers.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Alright, let me pause here. I know that was a lot, and of course, like in our longer trainings, we have time to go, you know, deep into all these things, and discuss for a while, for now I'd love to hear one, or maybe 2, voice to voice shares. What's really sparking for you. What's feeling really important so far for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Christine?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Hi, Christine!
Christine Thomson: Here I am. Yes. Can you hear me?
Christine Thomson: Oh, I love this work so much! Oh, I just wanna say that
Christine Thomson: What is sparking for me is just remembering that the shadows, the things that I push into the shadows
Christine Thomson: are the superpowers that are meant to be used.
Christine Thomson: And it's really inspiring. One of the things that I'm still trying to figure out is the the
Christine Thomson: shame shadow. And I'm wondering if we're gonna work on that today because I've been experiencing it. Heavy duty.
Christine Thomson: Over this past 6 months. Actually.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): it's such a great question. This is what I would say. Shame is not a shadow is a symptom of things we have put in shadow and have our back.
Christine Thomson: Oh, we're
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what the shadow is kind of causing us to do, because we don't own us, and then we feel shame about those behaviors. Right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sent a shadow. It is of shadow. I feel like something just sparked there for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It confirms why, I couldn't figure it out as a shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What the shame is actually where it's coming from. Shadow. It's attached to. Okay, very good, and hopefully, at least, some of it will be one of the 3 that we're gonna look at.
Christine Thomson: Awesome. Thank you so much. I love it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You're welcome.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I feel like christine's question is a little bit related to what April is asking in the chat about how to not over identify with a biological diagnosis like Adhd.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so such a big discussion. April, I'm just gonna say this for now and hopefully it will spark
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): something for you. I wanna I wanna toss the idea that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there can be a superpower inside of Adhd.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So many folks put HD, HD, Adhd or neuro divergence into shadow. They decide that it's bad, right? That it's it's not acceptable, etc. And of course there are things you know, that you have to work with when you have a diagnosis. But
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what if we even looked at that as shadow and said, can we reclaim the power in that? Are there special things that you? If you have HD. That you can do that. Other people can't
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): special ways that you can look at the world or perceive things. let's try and own more of that, because then that helps
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): working with the other parts of Adhd, it helps soften all of it and make it easier.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): alright. Are you all with me so far on this is this, yeah, it's exciting. Right? I mean, it's this is to me. This is so exciting and important and sacred.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): By the way, I realize I probably didn't mention the most important thing at the beginning of the call. So I just want to say this. Now we are going to take a bathroom at 1 30 about your bladder. We will take a short break, I promise. I know about every 90 min is when it needs to happen.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like, I said, there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of things that we can put into shadow. There's so many in my shadow trainings we everybody finds like the the exact one for them. We go deep in lots of different ways
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for our purposes. In the time that we have today. I picked 3 shadows. That like, I said, I feel like everybody will be able to resonate with at least one, and as I share about them, personalize it for you use law of adaptation.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay? So that it works for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I want to remind you again.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It might take a moment to get it, because the shadow wants to hide right? It doesn't want you to see it. So just just be with it. If I mentioned a shadow, and you're say right away. Oh, no, no, no, that's not me. I don't have that shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Probably that's the one that you do have.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So here we go. Let's see, this is this next section I'm calling. Choose a shadow. So see which one of these is biting you in the but the most right now.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So first let's look at selfishness
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is selfishness one of your big shadows.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Well, let me give you some clues
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to to see, and it's you don't have to be experiencing all of these.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But see? So if maybe for you, if you've put selfishness in shadow, you've decided it's the worst thing ever, and you're never gonna be it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you get so triggered by other people who are selfish right? Even it like this does a little bit of selfish you're like, I hate them right. It oppresses you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Or
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe you're paranoid that everybody around you thinks you're selfish, even though you do so much
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for everybody.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You're worried like the worst thing someone could call you would be selfish.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or maybe for you. If you've got selfishness as a shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): are trying so hard to not be it that it self-sabotages you in all the ways that you're too selfless.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I call this the doormat right? You don't have boundaries. You let other people take advantage of you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I like mentioned earlier. You always over. Give on sessions. You don't end on time. It's more and more, maybe, for you. You won't raise your rates because it's selfish to raise your rates
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? I'm all about giving scholarships. We give a lot, but maybe if you have selfishness and shadow, you give too many scholarships like to to your harm. Right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe for you, if you've put selfishness into shadow. When you partner with colleagues they don't. Maybe sometimes they don't fulfill agreements, and you don't say a thing. You just let it happen. Maybe you let team members take advantage of you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe, for you. You end up not having enough time to work on your business or your marketing, because you're so busy giving your time to others, family members, clients, whatever it is.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or another clue that you might be putting selfishness into shadow, you by accident.
selfishly
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right, like so another example of this is, you go over with client overtime and sessions. You go over time you go overtime, and then you get so upset about it that one day you tell Client that you're ending 5 min, whatever it is, I know that's maybe dramatic and extreme. But you get where I'm going
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): alright. So if you think selfish is one of your main shadows. put it in the chat.
Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a lot of that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's been a biggie for me, too. All these 3 I will say that I'm sharing have been biggies for me.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You will have to choose one to work with today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But let's keep on going. So that was selfishness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Let's talk about
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the power, hungry, manipulative one, maybe for you. You've put
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): power
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): into shadow, some clues that this is you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like, we said, you get super triggered. When you perceive
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): other people that have a lot of power.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): it just gets your go
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or you get Judgey. Maybe about people in the industry who are doing a lot of marketing and being very visible. And you just decide like, I never be like that person. They're just power hungry.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You're also a little jealous of them at the same time.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe you've put power into shadow. If you're paranoid that you think other, you're paranoid that people think you're power hungry. or you're paranoid, that you think other people think you just want to be so big. Right? So you keep yourself small because you don't want other people to think that you want to be so big.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I bet you some of you know what are resonating with this. Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe here's some other clues. Because
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you are trying so hard not
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to be power hungry. Maybe you end up powerless, right? Maybe you end up, not marketing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then you feel really powerless in your business.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): By the way, the not marketing thing could show up for any of these 3 archetypes. It's just what's motivating it, right? So sometimes the expression can be the same. maybe for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you're not doing any marketing because you're worried that you're gonna come off as manipulative or power hungry. Maybe you won't raise your rates
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because you're scared. You're gonna come off as manipulative.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for you because you've put power in shadow, you're constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling badly. You end up on the social media vortex, just telling yourself everybody already got there. They got all the pow, you know. They got the bigger piece of the pie now, and so there's no pie left
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes a clue to let us know
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that we've got power and shadow
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is we accidentally abuse power, even though it would horrify us to know that we did so as an example. Maybe because you've been feeling so powerless, you end up speaking badly about somebody behind their back.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? That kind of gives you some power, you know, to speak badly about someone right? And then it has repercussions.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Alright, let me know.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And, by the way, remember, at the beginning of the call I said, part of this is normalizing. I want to normalize. I'm sharing all of these different things because it happens to all of us. But then we feel so bad like we. It makes us feel ashamed and like we're terrible, and and we push it deeper into shadow. So that's why I'm naming
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): some of these things. It's so important to me.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah. So I'm seeing in the chat. This one is a winner for some people. Yeah, if it makes you a little nauseous, Michelle. Yeah, that's a good clue to
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): alright.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So let's look at one more laziness. A lot of us have decided that laziness cannot be a part of who we are at all.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here are some clues that might let you know that you've put laziness in shadow again.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It gets your goat when you see lazy people, you get really judgmental of them, not being productive enough, or even if they're late, not just like a little annoyed. Oh, that person is late. It's your go more than it should right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): That might let you know you've got it in shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Or again, you're paranoid, right? You're paranoid, even though you do so much, you're always working. You're worried that people think that you're lazy or you haven't achieved enough, or you're not productive enough, right? Being lazy or unproductive is the worst thing that somebody could call you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or think of you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe for you some clues that you put laziness into shadow, or because again, you running away from it, that you have run to the complete opposite side. You are an overworker, you, but so much so that you're exhausted. You never take vacations, you work long hours, and you suffer, and your family suffers. Maybe you don't take sick days. Maybe you're always pushing yourself to do more.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe, for you. Your overworking looks like this. Pay attention to this. So maybe
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): your inner task master your inner overwork, or has you always be in front of the screen, trying to get some things done getting everything done. But actually, you don't get anything done
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You're just running around in circles on the trying to get things done.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If you have any kind of harsh task, master inside of you that is pushing you, that is telling you you're not doing enough. You need to get more done, even if it feels like you're always working.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This one might be at play for yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): remember, and another clue is, it happens by accident. You step right into that right
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you overworked and overworked and overworked, and then
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you become lazy to your detriment. You sleep late and miss a meeting.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): seeing some things about Flip flopping in the chat. We're gonna get there in a few minutes. That's exactly right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay. So I know it might be hard for some of you to pick just one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But for today this is a process you can go back and repeat. Right so. But for today I want
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you to pick one of these 3
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to work with selfish power or lazy.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and don't think too hard on it whatever you're like. Yeah, I think that. So with that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): if you think it's all 3, just pick one. Remember no myth of perfection here. Don't let your overwork or tell you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so. Here's a question for all of you, and take a moment on journal on this.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Why have you put whatever you just chose. Why have you put this part of yourself into shadow?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What's the sacred contract that you made?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay? So in other words.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): list. So maybe you were told that this thing was bad or wrong, or shameful, or it wasn't allowed in your family, or maybe you had someone in your life or in your culture who had this straight and it negatively impacted you or impacted your family? Right? And I'll just give one culture example on this one of one of the many reasons why I've had I put
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): power in shadow, and why it keeps on coming up for me is because I have holocaust trauma in my history right where? So there was so much power over
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? And so there's a part of me that decided that power is bad.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So for you. Why have you put this part of yourself into shadow? Why have you made it so bad and wrong?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But you don't want to have any part of it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's good to kind of be aware
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): of that sacred contract right when you made it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so. Joyce is asking, What about visibility and not wanting to show up.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): That can be a symptom of any of the shadows. Right again, Joyce. It depends on what's driving it. It was what drive is, what's driving the not being visible because you're scared. You're gonna take up too much space and be selfish
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is what's driving the not being visible because you're scared. It's going to be seen as manipulative and power over others.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or is what's driving the not being visible? The part of that like not wanting to be lazy, trying to overwork, but staring at the screen and not getting things done.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Carlita's asking, What if I think the Shadow Vermeer? Here is something else that you can't quite name yet. So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): be you know, Carlita, as you know, when we are in our bigger training, there's like all the space to find the thing because you've been in the bigger training. You see what? Once you maybe something else will come up, if not, work, with the one that feels closest. And as we continue to do the work
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): of today, you'll start adapting it to mold for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Renee. We're answering the question, why did you decide to put this in shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, one more question. You might not
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): find the answer to this
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right now. but I'm just asking it now to see if something's come up.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Hold on before I go there, Amanda, the not showing up for yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I would take a look at the selfish shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay. if you had. If there was a superpower
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that was embedded inside of the shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what would it be
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): if you were willing to see? Oh, there might be a superpower embedded somewhere inside of here. What would it be?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Something that can actually be helpful for you in your life?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So one example for power is empowerment.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Michelle, feeling more empowered
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): being or another example of a superpower inside of power, could be the motivation to make yourself visible
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and really be seen in the world.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Miranda, I love that self respect inside of selfishness. Yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia, I love blissfully present inside of laziness. Yeah. abundance with ease inside of laziness. Hannah, beautiful!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Stand up for yourself and others. I love that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Carlita.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the dishonest play with that. Don't find a better word right now. Just play with that. See where you want to go with it?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Extravagant can be one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Dana. Yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): okay. Let me pause here
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and love to hear a couple of voice to voice
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): shares before we go on. As I said earlier, this workshop is short. We're not doing, you know. I wish we had time like in my longer and more intimate trainings for a lot of processing on all of the pieces. But I do wanna
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): make some space for voices for processing, and also to give us a little time to kind of catch up there with all that I'm throwing at you, which I know is a lot.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Hi, Joanna, can you hear me. Okay, yeah. Hi.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: thank you. Love doing shadow work. That's been
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: resonating for me. I thought I was gonna go with selfishness. But when you started talking about laziness, I got really emotional. So I followed my body. And I realized, like, as I was journaling the questions.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: I put this into shadow, because the only way that I received recognition or attention from my family was by the overachieving.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: and otherwise I was invisible and just like really neglected.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: and I the belief that I had is that I'm not worth anything if I'm not achieving something showing some sort of result or accolade
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: and that the judgment is that lazy people are worthless. So when people are later, when it's like, Oh, like, there's completely worthless to society.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: But I'm secretly jealous of people who get to be lazy and have the ability to be like, I just wish I wasn't so smart because I could just like do nothing and actually be happy.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: So
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: I'm going to be with that a bit more, because there's so much like
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: energy there, and like a lot of tears clearly. Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm so glad you decided to go with the thing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Beautiful shadow work right, even if you did nothing else. Today, I'm so that's big shadow work right to go with the thing that you're like, but be willing to be with it right? And so what I wanna invite you and for everybody else is to be with self compassion and so much love and heart opening, as you say.
with us.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Thank you. Thank you for sharing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): mark elite.
Margalit Grunberger: Hi!
Margalit Grunberger: I originally was going to go with selfishness, but I believe I've trained myself
Margalit Grunberger: to be more selfish in my life. That's the beauty of living 6 decades, plus 6 and more than 6 decades.
Margalit Grunberger: So I surprisingly went with power.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm glad you did. I was hoping you would
Margalit Grunberger: really. and it scares me, and it. You also inspired me because my parents were holocaust survivors. So by your share. and my mom, who was more expressive about it.
Margalit Grunberger: was an Auschwitz. and the way she believed one of the
Margalit Grunberger: magical way she survived was, she was invisible.
Margalit Grunberger: Many stories about how a lot of stories, and so to me. I'm safer if I hide, and also
Margalit Grunberger: it's dangerous to have too much power. Logically I understand the differences, and I also admire people who stand up like you like talkin, share your information. And so
Margalit Grunberger: I know that something that's keeping me back.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm so so glad that you're willing to look at it. We're going light today. I just want to tell you and everyone, right? So we're like, we're doing this just in a in a way that as much as we each can hang handle. But even just this, just this, like, I am willing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to inspect how I've made my own power wrong
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is such a big next step
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to softening the blocks.
Right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for being courageous.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Veronica.
Veronica: Hello! Thank you for letting my voice be heard today.
Veronica: Shadow of selfishness called me in
Veronica: to this reflection, and this!
Veronica: There's a lot of neglect in my past book of my parents are ill, and and so I made that decision not to show up for myself, so I wouldn't be perceived as selfish
Veronica: naturally, and
Veronica: I can see how this
Veronica: super power is to be able to show up for myself 100, and be totally authentic and completely free. because my needs are non-negotiable, and my truth is sacred
Veronica: being able to attune so deeply into myself that I actually dissolve into the oneness and
Veronica: find that my needs are the needs of all. So I'm really grateful for the space
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that shows as you were sharing that could really really feel that and the commitment to it. And as the child of a sick parent I just resonate so deeply.
Veronica: Hmm. you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and take one more share. For now, Michelle.
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): thank you. So this is just such divine timing. I had a dream last week, and that I processed with my therapist. That is just
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): exactly, in fact, so many of the words and phrases that you've said. This is a little bit hopefully, not vulgar. But in the dream I had this enormous phallus.
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): and
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): my husband was also in the dream, and I'm relating all of this to yes, marketing. Yes, time with clients. Yes, yes, yes, but also in all relationships. And that's a primary relationship where we're working with a lot of power, struggle, finances, money.
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): and in the dream we both are. We're like checking our penises. It's just very matter of fact, there's nothing weird about it in the dream right? And so he takes his out and we check it. And it's fine. And then we take the mine out and we check it.
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): Wow! Really big. And I'm thinking to myself in the dream. So first of all, I take it, and when I put it back in I put it down my pant leg, and I have these tight pants, and so you can see it. And I say to him like, Wow, what if I walked around like this, and I'm thinking to myself, just completely so grounded.
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): My Dick is bigger than yours, like it's just a fact. I can see it. Mine is bigger than yours.
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): and I woke up just like giddy, because I mean, what kind of a dream is this? But I knew, you know, like power, masculine energy, and it's been so hard for me to own that, and really stepped forward. And there were a couple of things you said, and you'll know it's power for you if I've made myself powerless because I'm so afraid of this power.
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): What if you like? What if people could see it? What if you walked around with your masculine power so visible to the world, and it just
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): like choked me up. But it also makes me a little bit sick. But all of this is such perfect timing and best dream, ever such synchronicity.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I love it. Thank you for sharing, you know, and of course, young along with shadow. So much about dream work. I have some thoughts, you know, you're in embody. We can talk separate. If you want Michelle. I actually have some thoughts for you to work with that dream, to reclaim some more shadow. Also we can talk about that later. But I'm so glad you had it, because your Psyche is pointing to
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): be ready
Michelle Marlahan (she/her): to reclaim this in a different way, and I feel it when you say that I get chills. So thank you so much.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Thank you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Such awesome stuff.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Everybody here. So also is this like the best, most supportive and also hilarious community? I think so.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, I wanna before we take a break. I want to get us into the next step, and then we'll start it, and also during break. You can work on it a little bit as well.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): okay. What are we doing? Get my notes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I got so involved in the shares. So I wanna show you hold on 1 s.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I want to show you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): something on the screen.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Can you all see my screen? Okay? So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I think of what we're looking at
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): with shadow as a little bit of a spectrum.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I tried to, in my non graphic design way, put these arrows to show it's like it's a big spectra.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): most of the time
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we're over here on the left in our go to place. So let's say, we have shadow in our shadow, the lazy one, right. We've decided that laziness is bad.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Well, then, most of the time we're in our over worker, right? The extreme opposite.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Well, we're extremely busy
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): overworking.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): exhausted, maybe forgetting meals, maybe neglecting relationships, maybe neglecting self, maybe freaking out that we're not getting enough work done. being a harsh task, master, maybe try trying to work and work and work, but never getting it done right. But we're still like in that overworker mode.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And the reason why we're so extreme over here on the left is because we're doing
everything that we possibly can to avoid
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what's over here on the right
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right. What we have decided
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): it's terrible.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): never being extremely lazy, never getting anything done.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): laying around and doing nothing, not allowing ourselves to have fun.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, my God, if I were, I have to not be lazy at all, cause if I were to become lazy I would just eat bon bonds all day and watch a lot of daytime TV, and I wouldn't be a productive part of society right like, for we we make this up in our mind right? And and so then we have these 2 extremes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Are you with me so far?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And because we are working so hard to avoid this
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): extreme.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): On the right we end up most of the time
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on the left.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): except for every now and again we flip-flop over to the right, and then we feel terrible about it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then we rush rush to go back here. But we feel terrible here also.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Does that make sense?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And really, in this flip flopping and this back and forth. and the going to extremes. We're skipping over what's in between.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So what's in between?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe for you? If lazy is your shadow. what this is, what literally one of my sacred. My shadow clients called hers her sacred slaw.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Right maybe that aligned place in the middle is knowing when to work and when to rest.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): feeling good and in flow without pushing. I'm just this might not be for you. I'm just giving an example inspired by work, without feeling oppressed by it getting the right amount done. But it's never everything
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in that sacred sloth place. You know how to take good care of yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There is an inner boss. It's not like here, where there's no inner boss at all getting things done. But it's a loving yet firm inner bots.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? So what happens is we're bopping back and forth between the extremes
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that we rarely ever then land in the aligned plates. Does that make sense?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Let me just see what's happening in the chat here. I feel like.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sorry I'm not the best with tap.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia needs a sacred slaw. Yeah, Kristen is the opposite.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, good. Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So here's
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): let's start to draw this out as kind of a spectrum for yourselves.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and I want to invite you to start on the right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so draw a piece, take a piece of paper, and maybe draw a line going across it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then start with the right. Whether it's the lazy one, the selfish one or the power hungry one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Put it on steroids like what is your biggest fears?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Biggest extreme fear?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Right? What? What is it that you are avoiding at all costs?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Start to draw that out.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia. We're gonna pee in a minute, Randa. I just gave this one example. It's gonna be different
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for everyone. So go to the extreme selfishness for you and for you. What is it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Barbara? If your pattern is opposite you, flip it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for yourself?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Right? So everybody you make this work for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, so what is it that you're avoiding what is like the worst of the worst version
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): of one of those 3 shadows for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or however, you're going to adapt it for yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You can get dramatic here right like the Bond bonds, or whatever whatever it is, you know, if it's selfish, just like never doing anything for yourself. If you have children like never picking them up from school. Right? What is it? Make it a caricature like this thing that you are just
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): worried about. Right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah. So it's what we really don't want to be seen as on the right side, which we're working on right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, Margoli, that's right. Sound like a know it all like you know better than everyone else.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then I'll add to this now on the all the way on the left side. What's the other extreme? That's probably your more default place where you hang out the most.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What does that place look like for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Renee. It make it work for you so you can put tasks that you're avoiding. Related to the shadow, and also what it would look like, so make it work for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So examples for selfishness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we can say if you're looking at the kind of extreme on steroids, never doing anything for anyone else, never giving anybody a price break ever, no matter what.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What are some other examples? Not sharing? You know, never giving a client more than the exact session time. Not a minute over or extra help.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): hopefully, those spark. Some other ideas.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, we're at 1 30, and I know that about every 90 min we need a little bathroom break.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So let's take 5 min. We'll come back at 1, 35, and we'll keep on going.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'll see you all in a few minutes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and if you need, if you have a quick question for me right now, just let me know.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): let's come back together. I'd love to hear
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a couple of shares on what's coming through or what
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): questions you have.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Christine.
Christine Thomson: So for me. I'm realizing mine is power, for sure.
Christine Thomson: I feel like I'm having a remembrance of it being this before. When we did this.
Christine Thomson: and
Christine Thomson: The shame is definitely attached to that. and I don't necessarily have a question except
Christine Thomson: oh, like you said earlier on like this is not just the one and done kind of thing like, I literally just wanna put a quirk in it and just be done
Christine Thomson: with working on this because
Christine Thomson: the other part of my brain. It's like, Okay, that's enough.
Christine Thomson: Like, I'm kind of sick of looking at you like, can you just leave? Can you just stop? Can just stop showing up but it also bring it it. It also is bringing up for me like this feeling of not only shame, but
Christine Thomson: like a feeling of sadness for myself
Christine Thomson: that
Christine Thomson: I'm hold I'm holding myself back from having what I really, truly want. It's just so. Such a conundrum like
Christine Thomson: I want the power. I want all of the things, and I can see the people
Christine Thomson: doing the things that I want to be doing. And there's twinge of jealousy. Not a lot, but there is a little bit of it. And getting to the other side of this is what
Christine Thomson: I really want to do, even if it's for a glimmer of a moment.
I want to be able to experience like
Christine Thomson: living in that powerful place.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): yeah, I hear you. And it's it's step by step. I've never you know. Every now and again it's like one swoosh and change and done
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what we're looking at today is step by step, step, step.
Christine Thomson: Yeah, yeah. So I'm just glad to have been able to do this and really see where that shame is attached to him, feeling shame because I
Christine Thomson: am not fully allowing myself to be fully expressed. And I'm holding myself back because I think
Christine Thomson: people are going to judge me.
Christine Thomson: And one of the things that rings in my mind a lot is when my mother said to me one time. you think you're so smart, don't you?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And so that don't you was like, and you shouldn't be right. And I'm like, it's egotistical to think
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that you are.
Christine Thomson: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm gonna continue working through this. Thank you so much for this work. This is so good.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): April.
April Cantor: Hi, Joanna! Hi, everybody! I realize, as I was making my list.
April Cantor: I had chosen the lazy one. and I started writing things I'm avoiding. And then I realized
April Cantor: II might have gotten mixed up because I started listing things like, I'm afraid of overworking, I'm afraid. I'm trying to avoid not having enough time in balance in my family relationships. And and so like it was almost like the opposite.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Well, that's right like that's that flip flopping that I was talking about. It's it's the say, it's 2 sides of the same coin that aligned place in the middle has the right amount of the work and the right amount of the lazy. And for every situation that's gonna be different.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes it's gonna sometimes it's gonna be a little bit more work and a little less less lazy. Sometimes what's aligned for a certain moment is gonna be a little more lazy and a little less right? But we're if we're just going like in the extremes, or somewhat in those those extremes. We don't have the facility of of the power in the middle. The resources.
April Cantor: I mean. II do feel like in in the moment. Because I came out of a really heavy time during the fall. There was this
April Cantor: spaciousness I gave to myself, so there was the super power of like self care and being luxurious, and my meditations but now I'm finding I've kind of gone way over to the other side, where I'm now in the State. My default now is like procrastinating. And yeah, just not getting anything done like, just really. And my question was,
April Cantor: is a part of that. Could that also be avoidance.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you know, like I said earlier, it's not that there aren't fears of not being good enough, or what if I fail, or whatever you know, that's not what we're looking at today, but for sure there could also be avoidance. And that's contributing in there as well. That's more a friend. Your fear rewire negative thought like those techniques.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): okay. And also, if this lazy piece is coming up, an overworker piece is coming up.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you'll
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): this is another way to make movement right to work
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on this. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Renee.
Renée Fishman: I feel similar to to what April was just sharing.
Renée Fishman: It's still almost like.
Renée Fishman: and I know this is possible, I guess, like there.
Renée Fishman: almost like shadows within shadows. I don't know if that's the best way to explain it, but like
Renée Fishman: I mean, I've done a lot of work on like embracing being and not doing. And I mean, I like preach this stuff, but yet also so much of that overworking
Renée Fishman: you know, comes up for me like you know.
Renée Fishman: A and the whole shadow. I shared this on your Instagram post. Right? The the whole shadow thing that comes up with my trainer when I get angry at him because he's like giving me too much and stuff I can't do, but then he's like we'll do 4 sets of 4 reps, and I'm like I did 6 by 5, you know, and then I'm like you gave me too much. And and but then it's like, Well, why am I doing that? And it's like, Well, I wanna get it right. And if I don't get it right. I'm gonna do an extra set. I'm gonna push myself, but it's like.
Renée Fishman: I don't know if there's a power thing also in there, or if it's like
Renée Fishman: I don't know. Maybe the laziness is so much still in shadow that, like I can't even imagine
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like a week where I would just sit around eating bon bonds on the couch. I'd be fucking bored to tears, you know, like that. Well, I want to be clear with you and everyone. I'm not suggesting that we start living the extreme.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This is really important.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And hopefully, this is coming through
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): both extremes. Come through when we're skipping over the alignment. Middle. Alright. So that's that's number one. I'm asking you to lay out the extreme, not to live into that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but to have a cognitive awareness
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): of
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what we think is like the worst thing ever that we don't want to be. So we can see what we're running away from.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So that's number one. We're not. It's not like go and eat bond every day. That's that's the solution.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Go and be power hungry, that's the solution. No, the both are just expressions, whether it's the extreme on the one they're both expressions because something is being repressed
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in the middle.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So that's number one. And it sound. I mean. Also.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): our shadows were meant to keep on working on them right? They're not a once and done, and a twice, and done 3 times and done so. It's, you know, for the purposes of today. You might want to keep on going with that. But, like you said, and that's why, like, I wish 2 and a half hours, 1 one shadow leads to the next. They're right, like they're they're inside of each other and and that's a great thing to people always get caught up on like, what if I don't
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): work on the right one? But the truth is that the one always lead leads to the other. So you actually can't go wrong.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you know. I'd say, if we were in a different. If we were in like the shadow training, Rene, I might suggest for you to like next step would be to maybe do a variant based on what you were just sharing. Let me see if I can pull back from what you're saying. Before, I had an idea like to do a variant on this which would be more like the one I think there's part of you that has put into shadow
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the part of you that doesn't always get it right like that is just a terrible, terrible thing like a sin to not get it right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So anyway, that could be inside of the the overworker, the the shadow of the lazy.
Renée Fishman: Yeah, I mean it just
Renée Fishman: there seems to be like core things like underneath all this, I'd like, you know.
Renée Fishman: lonely and like the fear of loneliness, and like when like, when are you avoiding? Like like being busy? It's like, Oh, like
Renée Fishman: feeling like, I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life, right? Or
Renée Fishman: like the not good enough. Right? It's like.
yeah.
Renée Fishman: right? Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But whatever awareness is come through are super important. So I'm glad that they're coming through.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm going to take just a couple more shares
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): kristen
Kristin Halberg: so what I realized and was that so I worked. I decided to work with being power hungry.
Kristin Halberg: and then my biggest fears are things like trolls, or being hated or being killed, being mocked publicly shamed. like, but then, also, like being a mean girl. And then what I realize through doing this is that my extremes on the other side
Kristin Halberg: kind of pull from the selfish
Kristin Halberg: and the
Kristin Halberg: the lazy, I guess. So they are like. The other extreme is being invisible, being work avoidance, playing a lot, getting value by being of service to others at the expense of working on my business, like all of those things, are pulling from some of the other pieces. But it's all because I'm afraid of the the power rather than having it be. I mean, it's like
Kristin Halberg: the shadows are inside the shadows. But the avoidant behaviors, or that the comfortable behaviors, I mean are the ones that keep me from that middle place of claiming my power.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, that makes so much sense. And often times. That's that's how it operates. Good. I'm so glad
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you're seeing that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Dana
Dana Garced: so I've done this before and found it really really powerful. And for some reason right now. Maybe it's because I'm tired like
Dana Garced: and people have said the fear piece. I keep feeling like when I look at that like extreme expression. All I can Channel are like fears.
Dana Garced: and so I don't know if I'm like not doing the shadow piece, or but like I was just like I chose power. And I was like, Okay, I'm scared that my nervous system can't handle what it looks like to like be in power. And then it was like, also I'm scared that the more visible I am, the more people like poke holes and what I say and then I'll find out like I'm a fraud, or I'm not expert enough. That's as far as I can get right now.
Dana Garced: So it's like, I don't know. Can you say anything to that. Yeah, absolutely. I love this. This is.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's such a great example of
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): how the shadow hides, because you went into right like that part of the Simon is like, what is the most like? What is the ickiest things about it that you don't want to be.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and instead of that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): your everything you're sharing is actually on the extreme other side. I don't wanna like use things right? Cause do like the things that you're sharing are the powerless pieces, right? Like I keep need to keep myself powerless, or or else.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you know, it's gonna be too much energy to have too much power. People are. Gonna rip me apart. Right? So that's the go to place for you. That's the default place.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But let me ask you, and you may not have enough energy for this right now, because you know you didn't sleep well last night. But
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what is it about power that you think is bad and wrong and shameful.
Dana Garced: First thing that comes to mind, and just like my brain went to like celebrity culture like influencer culture. And just like this idea that getting stuck in like a privilege bubble where you're not.
Dana Garced: you know. Like. I don't know. Yeah, like, you know, you kind of were just like, this is life. And this is it. And you keep growing. Keep growing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, so that's like a great thing to put on that right side. Right? Let's see if
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there's something else. What else do you think is just shameful like how we're at its worst. What is bad and shameful about it?
Dana Garced: Hmm, yeah. And then I'm also coming to like just the industry, you know, like wellness, industry, spiritual industry.
Dana Garced: and like the abuse of power in the sense where it's like, you know, like I'm the Guru, or I'm the, you know, master, and like. So I'm scared of positioning, or even like
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): thinking that so that I tend to. This is so, then I do tend to go to the other extreme where I'm like, no, your power is all in you. You know everything already, and then I'm not actually honoring my gifts and my training and your expertise. And what you bring. Beautiful, beautiful. Are you starting to see more? Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): yeah, I'm so glad you raised your hand, and I'm so glad you shared because it it's such a great example, like even when it's like that. Just assignment to list those things. It's like that. We don't even realize we're we're back in our default place.
Dana Garced: So beautiful. Thank you. Alright, thanks.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Helen.
Helen Croza: There, all right, unmuted.
Helen Croza: Well, I sort of ha, I think, had a similar thing happening, as Kristen mentioned. Like II thought of it as being power. You know the powers. The issue because of the I know I compare.
Helen Croza: And yeah, do a lot of comparing. But it was confusing, because, like, I don't actually think it's icky I was like, well, I don't actually think I'm afraid of
Helen Croza: power, cause I don't think it's, you know, like I admire the women who are
Helen Croza: out there
Helen Croza: are out there, you know, and I'm like, well, then, what am I afraid of? But I think maybe it is that. you know, and I could see. Oh, now I'm going to fear like like that. Persecution, fear or
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Let's pause on that right similar to Dana. Right? This is so beautiful because you just went to the the extreme opposite right, fear of persecution. So if there is a fear of persecution on the extreme opposite, tell me if this lands for you. I want to suggest
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that you also have a fear that a part of you is the persecutor
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on the extreme other side, or of being it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And I know this is Re. It's hard. That's why I said earlier to wrap our our minds around cause we wanna go to. No, no, no, no, that's not me.
Helen Croza: Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But is it possible? Right? If there is an extreme fear of persecution.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that also there is a part of you that is worried. There's a persecutor inside you.
Helen Croza: I really don't think so. I really, yeah, I really don't think so. I mean, I teared up a bit when
Helen Croza: when Margoli said earlier, and you did, too, about
Helen Croza: you know, being a holocaust survivor like in terms of my grandparents and that side. And I've wondered how much of my
Helen Croza: wanting to stay small or invisible, or it's that being seen piece is a bit of that
Helen Croza: where that's coming through. Anyway, it may not be the word
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): persecutor. It might be something else. I'm worried of manipulating other people. I'm worried if I have more, other people will have left.
Helen Croza: Yeah. And
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): it it is. You know. II would
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like, I said, it takes time, because so many of the things we don't want to see. But I, there's a part of me that wants to say, Okay, move on to the next thing. But really the the coach and practitioner and me wants to save you, Helen, continue to explore
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what that is on the other side for you. You might have insight.
Helen Croza: Yeah, okay, yeah. I know. I know not to say, Oh, no, that's not me.
Helen Croza: Yeah, okay, thank you.
Helen Croza: Okay. And Josie.
Josie Beug: there we go. Yeah. One of the things I wrote down. I did power as well, because I'm like, Oh, I got I have that under control. I don't. But one of the things I wrote down is fear of being a tyrant like literally being that tyrant, and I grew up in a family where my father was literally the patriarchal, helding everything in place. But
Josie Beug: I also
Josie Beug: I've done a lot of work with, like the whole holocaust thing and past life stuff and going off into that and I don't want to disempower someone else. But then I found when I went to the opposite side of it, I didn't even realize it was like being so small and so invisible, and like staying in my place, like staying in my place in line, staying quiet in my little corner.
Josie Beug: deferring to others, and then not just completely doubting myself and my only inner knowledge
Josie Beug: was huge.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, I can see that I can feel that. And just that, that seeing of
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that back in for
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): beautiful. I'm glad that that's coming through. Thank you for sharing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There's one more share or question out there for some reason. before we keep on going
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there. One more out there.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And if you ask something in the chat and I didn't answer, it's because I didn't see it. So you can raise your hand. Lisa.
Lisa Brown: Yeah, this was something that I put in the chat. If you could
Lisa Brown: kind of flesh out some of the nuances and distinctions between working with shadow and working with fears, cause that's kind of been woven through here. And I didn't quite. I got a little confused.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, I won't flush it out just because it's for training. But
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what I meant by that is, of course, there's fears inside of our shadows. We're fear we're scared of not being that extreme thing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we can do a befriend your fear process that that could be one way of working with it. But
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): it's but what we're looking at here first is, what is the thing that I have decided? I'm not so in scared of. I'm scared that you know. Nobody's gonna love me like that might be why we run away from one of the sides, or I'm scared that I'm gonna be judged. That might be why we do the things. But what I want for us to be focusing here on like, what is the thing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that I have made bad inside of me?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Is that helpful?
Lisa Brown: Yes, thank you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Per lead out.
Karlita Nabours-Palermo (she/her): I love that. You pointed out that it's not about finding the right one, because where I was starting I was just like the worst thing in the world would be for me to be like like speaking of triggering other coaches out there in the world. I'm like I don't want to be the one
Karlita Nabours-Palermo (she/her): who over hypes myself and is talking about what a fucking genius I am, and all this kind of stuff, and meanwhile can't deliver and doesn't get good results and oversell instead of over deliver. You know, I was like, that's awful. And I but I couldn't see those power hidden inside that, and then got starting just w where I was, I was like, oh, this dishonesty thing is about
Karlita Nabours-Palermo (she/her): how I could harm people with being so powerful!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, so I love that you helped me put that together just like, just start with what's in front of you. So very good. I love it. Yeah. And I kind of saw the evolution of that in the chat is like, Yeah, that's it. You got it?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Good. Natalie?
Natalie Biniasz {Laughing Heart Healing}: Yes, I don't know when Helen was sharing and when you kind of asked her about the persecutor, it just brought something up for me that I've been working with for years. And I just felt like I needed to share it. Only for myself, I guess around like I have gotten so
Natalie Biniasz {Laughing Heart Healing}: triggered by, you know.
Natalie Biniasz {Laughing Heart Healing}: patriarchy, and just like the collective, you know,
Natalie Biniasz {Laughing Heart Healing}: treating women horrible and just everything that we've had to deal with, and all that. And
Natalie Biniasz {Laughing Heart Healing}: I, a few years ago realized that I am actually carrying that within myself.
Natalie Biniasz {Laughing Heart Healing}: You know that I have been carrying the patriarchy within me in terms of my judging other women. And, you know, feeling jealous, or that whole kind of scrolling and being like oh, she's taking up too much power, whatever. And then I'm actually carrying that within me that exact thing that I am so passionately against.
Natalie Biniasz {Laughing Heart Healing}: So anyway, I just felt.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): yeah, I'm so glad that you are. Thank you. And I know you're not alone in that. I am with you on that, and it's
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I hope this makes sense. What I'm about to say next, and nothing I ever say is truth. So you know, try it on.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Of course we want to
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): work to change the parts of patriarchal culture that are oppressive. and
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): any time that we have something that is like, it's so that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): yes, we do hold it inside of ourselves, and there might be a glimmer of a super power inside of it not to to get to the
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): not to. I'm not saying we do the harmful expression of patriarchy right? But there is a superpower.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe you'll decide. You know, it can be so many different things. But for you like, maybe there is a super power of power inside of it, or like a healthy aggression inside of it, or whatever it is. We don't want to cut ourselves off from that by just hate it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): That other thing that is, that is kind of shadow. That's very helpful. Because I do.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, right? And so then what are you actually cutting yourself off from inside of you that you could use for yourself. That could be good for the world. But
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): all of that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): That's that's the exploration.
Natalie Biniasz {Laughing Heart Healing}: Thank you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Laura.
Thank you.
Laura Selis: So I first went to right at all cost. It was like
Laura Selis: dominating judgmental. I took power. By the way. I mean it felt a little bit vague as I was moving through attached, insensitive, generalizing, arrogant and then it got to more of
Laura Selis: power, causing other people emotional pain, and some of this that comes through that I realize that so many different
Laura Selis: understandings of myself and my family as a silent culture, as coming through their wounds from the internment camp, but feeling
Laura Selis: powerless, entrapped, and
Laura Selis: in a way homeless. The contradiction of
Laura Selis: not having a home here and then fighting against their home from where they came from. Since there's been a lot of understanding for myself around that.
Laura Selis: and where I see the disintegrate part is disinterment being invisible, frozen, and I see that it's like that's also my
Laura Selis: our response that I see where I get frozen and certain. Overwhelmed, afraid to rock the boat, quiet, avoided trapped?
Laura Selis: The one thing that also really came up, and all the things that everyone was saying I'm like, yes, yes. Oh, my gosh! Nuances! That was like
Laura Selis: definitely the harm of emotional pain. But also when I got to insensitive, I thought about how an unconscious acts of power is something I never would keep me small, and and
Laura Selis: I don't. But how?
Laura Selis: It is also my superpower of being very sensitive. So seeing thank you for
Laura Selis: just shedding light on that, that the the balance part, or the integrated, really aware and conscious part of both of those pieces of myself.
Laura Selis: The middle part is really
Laura Selis: something more to embrace.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yes, I'm getting chills as you're speaking. I'm so glad that you're seeing that, and
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): it almost feels like you're starting to a little bit. Pull some of the resources from the shadow and
Laura Selis: feeling.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): okay, so that segue into where I wanna invite us to look next. Let me
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): share my screen again. And of course oh, my, gosh, you all! I have like 5 other things planned for today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So you know, I'm better. But we're gonna we're getting there. To the most important parts for today. So what I'd like for you all to do is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to think about right. And it's okay. If you're not even fully clear on the extremes, they'll continue to come.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But for now I want you to name what that aligned place is between your 2 extremes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and what that place might look like
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So take take a few moments with that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right, and you get to name it whatever you want to name it for yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yep. You can describe
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia's been to my archetype and shadow training before. Yes, Amelia, you can describe it as an archetype. It is.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Carlita's got the empower. I love it. Such a beautiful aligned place between power over and power under right the empower.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's so, even if it's
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like Natalie, described before. Right, like patriarchy, is in the shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What are what is the aligned? What is some of the superpower and the aligned middle? There
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): pursue full visibility from a heart centered place, beautiful
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for Amy, boldly being present in your heart. I love it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, for Tina, the harmonizer! These are all so beautiful.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Barbara. I love that maybe you can give that one a name like an archetypal name.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): divine, knowing, loving truth. Teller
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): how to see him
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): take another minute or 2.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What's that aligned place for? You
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): love all the shares in the chat?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): A.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Follow these.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): everybody have at least an inkling of what that aligned place is seeing a lot of beautiful shares in the chat.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I'm gonna I promised. Let me say this. So first of all just the work and the awareness that we've created today. Even if there's some confusion. Still, like I said, there would be it right. It's okay. But even just starting to look at these pieces. Just this alone.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): huge, massive next step to being able to reclaim the superpowers in the shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): That being said, I promised us to do a somatic technique that you could use and repeat. And of course I wanted to do something way more elaborate than we have time for today. So I'm gonna streamline it, streamline it, which I'm actually happy. This is happening because for what we've done today, I think the streamlined version is actually gonna be much more powerful
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for all of you. That also means that I need to just slightly edit the worksheet that you all got which I'll I'll do over the next day, so don't pay attention to it yet.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): here's what we're gonna do.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So this morning in the reminder. There was a link to a worksheet.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You'll have the worksheet by tomorrow or end of day even, I promise. Okay. here's what we're gonna do. And like I said earlier
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you, it's okay to be a little uncomfortable in this. But if you find yourself getting really dysregulated, you just pull back a little bit, that's all.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Take a moment, and if it feels comfortable, close your eyes, if not, you can keep your eyes open.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): first, just inside of yourself. Imagine some of the bopping back and forth that you've been doing on the 2 extremes, or kind of extremes
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on this, and just notice what that feels like
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): disempowered, disempowered, disempowered, disempowered. And then, oh, my God, I'm scared! I'm being manipulative, right or whatever it is for you. Just notice what that back and forth can kind of feel like.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And now I wanna invite you to find that aligned place
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that you identified
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the empower, the blissfully present executive. I'm reading from the chat right, the trust itself, whatever it was, for you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): find that aligned place
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and start to call down to you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that energy that you just identified in the middle
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on your chart.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Call it down. and see if you can start to feel that energy inside of you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Aligned selfishness, aligned power aligned laziness right? Whatever it is for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And even if you can only feel it just
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a little bit.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): notice what this
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): energy feels like inside of you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): be with that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then ask this energy
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what it wants you to know
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): about your business.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What is this energy that contains your shadow? The aligned version of it. Want you to know about your business
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and ask it what it wants you to know about your shadow
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right now, what more does it want you to know about your shadow right now.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): continue to be with this energy the one that contains this thing that you've been scared of for so long
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): be with the aligned energy of it. and ask it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): if there's anything it wants you to do next in your work
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in your business. What's the next action step.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then one more thing, just for fun. If you feel like doing it. Take a moment right now and think about the extreme like that extreme thing that you're so avoid avoidant, or you're so scared of.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and see if, like almost have a little chuckle about it like haha, there might be a part of me that is like that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, that's possible. That might be really selfish. Sometimes I might be really power hungry. Sometimes there is a part of me that is so lazy.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Have a little fun with it for a moment. Notice what that feels like.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Fall, and then, when you're ready, can take a moment jot down any notes that you want to jot down
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): from that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The last question was to see if you can have a little fun with the extreme version of your shadow like, can you kind of chuckle a little bit like I have a part of me that is really selfish.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Renee. It's completely uncomfortable because it's just you're you're reclaiming parts of it right? It's parts that have been disenfranchised for so long. So if it if it did feel uncomfortable. That's great.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like, I said. A little discomfort is not a bad thing, or even a lot of discomfort.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'd love to hear a share or 2. What felt important
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): from that work? What did you really get, Suzanne?
Suzanne Culberg: The part where you asked like? Did we have a message from
Suzanne Culberg: like the aligned place, or whatever
Suzanne Culberg: it was, that the
Suzanne Culberg: the collapsed or the under one's power. The power under version is not better
Suzanne Culberg: or no different to the power over version. I did not like that, I know, because you've spent most of your life trying to believe that, Ray. I'm so glad that came through it. It is the truth. We we don't right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We want to find that beautiful
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Amelia.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: Thank you so much, Joanna. That was really powerful and
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: II found, like just the perfect balance of both extremes that in I. So I went with the managing director of blissful presence. and I was able to really feel myself as
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: like the the healthy version of the task master, where it's like, yes, we will inspire you. I'll lead you to like, get shit done. But we're also gonna have fun with it.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: And the thing that I really connected with was she is encouraging. loving, inspiring, gentle, kind, compassionate.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: and proudly get shit done while having fun and making it fun for everyone involved. And so it had both of those like the over, like finding the pride in the getting a lot of work done without the overworking, like hyper ferocity of it, and then pride and rest
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: in your life if you kept on leaning into that and kept.
Amelia Fortes | @theameliafortes: And that's my next step. Beautiful. We're gonna talk about next steps in a moment.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Take a couple more shares for now, Dana.
Dana Garced: yeah, I think being tired is kind of helping me not overthink things too, but like I just was kind of like in and out of fog, asleep as you were guiding that. But then, all of a sudden, I got like these, really strong, like, I guess, next steps or clear actions.
Dana Garced: and I realize that, like my Adhd brain being multi passionate like. I like to dabble in so many things, but I was kind of called in to say, you know what I think. It's really important, as I move into next year to get really clear at this point, on my strengths, on my expertise on my favorite things.
Dana Garced: create offerings just around that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then it just opened up so much space where I'm not trying to do everything, be an expert and everything. And then I can clap with more people. And that felt really balanced for me. So I love that I love that. And I think it relates to the power thing, because that's what's gonna help. You be most powerful. And in your bigness
Dana Garced: beautiful
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): amy
Amy G: hi diana,
Amy G: mine's gonna be, I guess quite short. Because I was working with my boldly presence in my heart for my with my power, and when I asked it the question at the end about How can you help me sort of going forwards with my business. And because what really underpins my business is, everything comes through a filter of being art centred like that's really my foundation.
Amy G: Suddenly this word zoomed in of like do it, heart powered.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and it just like lays it through me, and my heart just kind of really expanded. And then, just as Dana was sharing there.
Amy G: just some more words came in about my heart is my power
Amy G: and my heart powers me. It just felt very like just a shift in coming
Amy G: more deeply into that aligned place.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, that's so beautiful. And II can feel as you're sharing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): how you did grab into some of the resource of the power that felt so e before. But now it feels very different.
Amy G: Yeah, thank you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Thank you. Alright. We'll have more time
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for more shares. In a little bit, but I know we're almost at time. I can go a few minutes over also. But I wanna do 2 things for sure. Before we're done today. So one just briefly to say that I know for some of you the work that we're doing today is just enough. You you've gotten a lot. And like I said, you're gonna keep on processing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): all of it. It's going to continue to work on you. What came through today. And I'm also going to give you homework.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But I know that for some others of you you're like, Oh, my gosh, like this is just we just skim the surface. And this shadow thing. II want more of this. I wanna know how to do this, I wanna go into the deeper work, and in the deeper work we do lean into the much
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): harder places in order to reclaim them even more I know for some of you. You're like I wanna do this not only for me, but I wanna do this for my clients, because I see that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): this is such important
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): medicine, that when we can reclaim these parts of ourselves, and own these parts of ourselves, and love all the parts, the anger, the grief, the competitiveness, the selfishness, the laziness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): all the sexuality, the judgmentalness, the desire for power. Even our destructive impulses.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): have superpowers inside of them. Even our aggression
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): has superpowers inside of it, right? Just to name a few. We get to be more whole.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): When we have all of ourselves.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there is so much less shame.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We don't have to hang out on the extremes, or the fears of that we get to then be able to move in the middle, and each situation use the power. It's a superpower as much
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): as necessary. We get to make so much better decisions in our business and in our lives.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and when we know how to do this, we get to help our clients with the same. And so if this is something that you'd like to go more deeply in to we do this in advance steps. Some of you have been in advance. By the way, you can do it again if you want.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Because doing that deep shadow work requires time. It requires time to learn the concepts to learn the techniques. And I have many shadow techniques
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to teach you, and it takes time to build the capacity to hold our to do our inner work, to hold our own shadows
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so that we can also help our clients with it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I always say this, but my beloved students, who have gone through advanced steps, they tell me over and over again, so many of them that the program is like a before and after in their lives, that after being so much more awake to all of this, so much more self, compassionate, so much better resourced.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): such being such a better practitioner. And if
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): this is something that you're interested in, it's spending a year with me and a very small group of people. The group is never more than 24. The sweet spot is usually around 20 to 22. Every now and again I make an exception for an extra one or 2 more. I would love to be able to share more about it with you. It is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): 6 retreats over the course of a year. 5 of them are online. One of them is in person. In Charlotte.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We go deep into befriending fear learning somatic processes for that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): In another retreat we go deep into what I call choose your own shadow journey. It's a memory reconsolidation, technique where we unearth the impulses that we've put into shadow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We do a online retreat, also on dream work and archetypal imagery go deep into young. We do a retreat on the archetype of the devil, and even reclaiming some of that and our compulsions
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): when we're together in Charlotte for 3 days. That's where we do the biggest shadow techniques.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then we top off the year with a retreat on boundaries which is so much about selfishness also.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So if this is something that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you're interested in. Please get in touch with me and my team. Caitlin and inball are available to connect with you on it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There is a special price on the program through the fifteenth for those of you that are in sacred depth. This is not your special rate, so don't look at the brochure that caitlin and involved are sharing. You guys get special special, but everybody else still gets special rate until the fifteenth. So if you're interested, let us.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): No, I would be so honored just for us to be able to have the conversation with you about it. If it's something that you're feeling called to just for you to see if it's right for you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, in the 2 min that I have left I want to give you homework and next steps, and then I'll hang on the line if anybody has any questions.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for those of you that have learnt with me before, you know, I always say.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there's a difference
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): between a breakthrough and a transformation
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): breakthrough is new awareness, new understanding, a new feeling, maybe, in your body, like of the aligned place, etc.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Transformation is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): long, lasting change that's based on the new awarenesses and the breakthroughs. The way to get from breakthrough to transformation
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is to not let what happened. What came through for you today gathered us in your notebook.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but instead to come back, come back to your notes. Come back to looking at the thing that you're scared of right, so ashamed of.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and saying, Can I even love this inside of myself?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Coming back to the connecting in with the aligned place like we did today. And I'll that's what I'll give you in the worksheet, so you can come back to that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and feel
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): pave that new energy inside of you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It might look like tracking yourself as you move throughout your days. When do you bop to the right? When do you bop to the left
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and starting to notice that more. And then remembering everything that we learned today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): with that, I'd love for everybody to
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): write down 2 things. Number one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What is one inner work piece that you would like to come back to after today? Is it doing that aligned place? Meditation that we did.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Is it about tracking
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the the extremes as they come up for you?
It's about something else
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): doing more journaling. You can journal from the voice of that aligned place as well.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and thank you for all the love that my beloved advanced step Thurs and graduates are putting into the chat I so so appreciate you sharing about your experiences.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Second thing, I want to invite you to write down what is one action step in your business that you feel inspired to take
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): from our work today with a one action step.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maybe you're willing to be a little
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): egotistical in the next email that you write. Take your power there.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): maybe
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): from a place of aligned, selfish selfishness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You want to send an email to all of your clients, letting them know that you've been going over time a lot, but for your benefit. And there's
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you're gonna start holding to your 45 min sessions most of the time.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What's something for you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): when I don't think that's ironic at all. That might be part of that that lazy piece
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): alright. And then finally, I'd love to hear what you're taking away.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So take a moment and hopefully, you're taking away a lot from today. But what is one of the biggest things that you're taking away from our time together today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Make a note of it for yourself, and I'd love to hear, either in the chat
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or voice to voice, or if there are any questions that you have for me.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I wanna honor that we're at 2 30. So if you have to go, of course go. But if you want to hang on for a couple of minutes and share or ask any questions, please do.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Renee?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I don't know if
Renée Fishman: yeah I had, sir. Yeah. So
Renée Fishman: one of the things
Renée Fishman: for me that came up in that meditation as I like that was just like
Renée Fishman: discomfort. But then, when you're like oh, what I think you asked like if we could embrace that extreme that we're trying to avoid to.
Renée Fishman: I'm like sitting here in my parents in the basement of my parents house, and there's a bulletin board that I had in college, and I like all these quotes that people said on it.
Renée Fishman: and one of the quotes is something that my mom said, which highly tell often, because I think it's funny, she used to say. Work fascinates Renee. She can stand and watch it for hours.
Renée Fishman: and I always would say, like, Yeah, well, that's called delegation, right like. And so there's that like
Renée Fishman: right? I think I can embrace that part of me that's like. I don't want to work if I don't have to like, I don't want to do more than is necessary. I don't.
Renée Fishman: I mean I that is like such. The part of what I try to help people with is like, how can you be more efficient and effective and like minimize
Renée Fishman: like the wasted effort. But yet also I feel like I just do so much wasted effort myself and and I, you know, and I don't have people to delegate to, and
Renée Fishman: nobody that I've tried to delegate to can do the job that I need them to do. And so then it's like, Well, is that a power thing? Is that a control thing? Yes, probably. Yes. But also like.
Renée Fishman: is that like, am I working with the right? Then I just am like, am I working with the right shadow? And I don't know. I'm very confused by all the
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): yeah. So like, I said, but where you just said, like, Yeah, is it? Is it a delegation thing? Is it a control thing? Yes, but then like discounted it instead. But I don't know right that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is to me like a classic sign of you're like allowing it to come through more. And then like no, no, no, but that's that's not. It has to be something else.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What if that was the next step? Renee and I know you've probably worked on some control pieces before. But to go deeper into that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right. The shadow parts of it not shadow parts.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you know, cause, as you say, control just knowing you. I know you pretty well. I like again. There's never gonna be just one shadow right? One leads to the next. But I do think that would be such a valuable place for you to lean into more control.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The thing in shadow is not having control, like there's like such a fear and a shame, and it is bad
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): like be floating and right, and and that you've made that bad. But of course you have that part inside of you, too, because we all have all the parts right. So I would love if that lands for you to work with that.
Renée Fishman: Yeah, I'm like feeling like all the like emotions bubbling up like what it means to not have control. Yeah, which is why I chose laziness before, because of all, when you described everything like that was like, oh, I've always been not in my chest and my throat. And I was like, well, that's a sign. Cause I wasn't feeling that. And the power piece in the selfishness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Good. Okay, we we got it. Yeah, that's that's the next place. Beautiful.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Veronica.
Veronica: Yeah, thank you so much, Jenna. This is the second time I've joined a workshop with you and II love how the work is building on itself. So the last time we were together I found this shadow of my truth doesn't matter. And we were working on the the impactful courses. And and today I was working on this.
Veronica: this idea of bouncing between selflessness and extreme selfishness. And
Veronica: this this aligned place that came forward is the sacred self, and how you know I shared earlier, that going into that superpower I connect with all that is, and I just feel so grateful for the way that I can. I can see that this
Veronica: I've been on a a path with Zen for 15 years. And there's this idea of the Bodhisapa, where this being comes back and experiences suffering in order to liberate all beings from suffering. And so there's this like my joy doesn't matter as much as you know the freedom and liberation of everyone else. But there's also this, this, no self which is actually the goal where
Veronica: existence is expressing itself naturally, and my feelings are a natural expression of of truth. And so today I feel empowered to trust my feelings and and share what's true for me, my direct experience and I felt in my body during the meditation
Veronica: this ascending energy and the ability to take other people with me on the way up. And there's this quote from Lao Tzu, where he says, I'm not like everyone else. I drink from the Great Mother's breasts. And this idea of just like directly consuming enlightenment for my own benefit and letting that be what I do. So yeah, I feel excited to show up
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): finally and not be hiding in this like, oh, we don't need to share, because that's selfish. Yeah, I love it. I can't wait to see how this is gonna evolve. I can. I can just feel how how deeply this is impacting. Yeah. And you know, like bonus homework
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): every now and again see if even take pleasure in this part. Me that knows I deserve the ascendant energy, and I deserve right like like. See if you can in a fun way, even knock out even more of the shame around it. Yeah, II get that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you know.
Veronica: Yeah, thanks for that, Jen, excited to journey together.
Veronica: too.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Anyone else need anything before we wrap
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): alright
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and send you a lot of love. Can't wait to hear what evolves.